I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
