I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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