U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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