I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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