Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize