i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
