He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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