I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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