just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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