Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
there is puke in my bra ... again
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
