Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
