Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
