Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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