I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
