Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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