Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
