the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
