Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
