Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
