i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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