never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
you never un-have a 4some
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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