Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
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