Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
