You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
