I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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