I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize