She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
