i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
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