She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
