i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
