we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
