those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
