I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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