i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
