Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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