Kareoke will never be a sober sport
well you can't waste a boner
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
