He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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