do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
