i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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