If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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