Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
