That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
