I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
