theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
