He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
