doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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