i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
