He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize