Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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