How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
