Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
