hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
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