remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
