Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
