Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
