A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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