why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
