areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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