im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
