i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize