ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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