we made out on top of his cat.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I didn't notice because vodka
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
