i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's just like the Real World with babies
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
