Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
