I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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