I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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