she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
