I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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