ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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