omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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